Almost back to normal

This is how my foot looks now. It's slightly deformed at the fracture site as it's raised and rounded (shown here where my hand is holding). I thought it was swelling but it's still quite raised.

Last week I finally starting walking normally. I usually walk down the city to buy my lunch and one day I found I was able to transfer weight across my full step. It was such a great moment for me to be able to walk normally again. I had the biggest grin on my face - I must have looked as though I was up to mischief as I walked down the mall. It was a mixture of relief and excitment. I had read about complications with this type of fracture and people having ongoing issues and pain on walking. But now I'm virtually pain-free. I don't have to walk behind everyone anymore and have people actually overtake me, I'm back to being the one that does the overtaking!

I've been training for two weeks now and tonight I attempted a full length routine, I'm definately out of shape. It's amazing just how quickly the body deconditions! I think I only have a few more weeks that I can use the 'foot' as an excuse with my students for not being as fit as I was two months ago.

Back in training

Yes! It was good news, my fracture was well on the way to healing and I was allowed to start walking. My calf and thigh was pretty wasted and my ankle was stiff. That was one week and 6 days ago. Walking was very difficult at first but taking those first steps without my crutches gave me such a good feeling. It took me a few days to get over my instinctual reaction of reaching for my crutches to get up and walk around. Right now I've still got a slight limp but my walking has improved heaps and seems to get better everyday. I've been warned to hold of the full return to activity for another 4 weeks. I'm even doing the annual Pedometer Challenge and I can see how my steps over the days have progressively increased as I've improved.

So I've started back at circus again, training two nights a week and teaching two nights a week. I'm just about to head off to do some laps in the pool. I haven't exactly got a show to train for at the moment but things tend to pop up without much warning so it's good to keep fit and conditioned so that I'm prepared for anything!

One week, one day to go!

I realized today that if all goes well I can start training again next week!, I’m so excited – it’s been so hard to take a break from training for the last few weeks.

Last week I had to travel to Alice Springs for a workshop. I spoke with a friend a few days earlier who suggested I go back to hospital to get the cast adjusted so I could travel. To be honest the cast was so tight my foot and toes would swell up after about 20 minutes of having it hanging down and the thought of a 2 hour flight plus cabin pressure made me worry. At the hospital the plaster technician split the cast down both sides and crepe bandaged it closed.

At the airport on Tuesday the check in crew said it was good that I had it done as they might not have let me fly, especially if it was a newer fracture. They were going to insist on making me use a wheelchair and even pulled one out for me. But I insisted on using my crutches. I had an assistant stand by me when I used the stairs to get down to the tarmac and then up to the plane. I even had a buggy ride to get to the plane. The crew, included the pilot who was watching, commented that they were impressed at my stair climbing technique – hopefully they can suggest this to their other passengers who need to use crutches. Unfortunately my request when making the booking to get a front row seat was not considered when it came to checking in. Apparently they are reserved for their ‘frequent flyers’ so I was put somewhere in the middle. The flight crew found me a spare seat though so I was able to put my foot up in the end. They were so helpful offering me pillows, blankets, drinks etc. As I was cruising back to Darwin Airport in the buggy one of the passengers we passed commented maybe he should ‘get himself one of those (my cast)’ so that he could get the special treatment too!

The show casualty

Well it's pretty obvious what's happened here!

The shows were excellent and the feedback was overwhelming. I loved performing in the Entertainment Centre, it was such a great experience to do things professionally. The three shows happened pretty much flawlessly (I'll get to my injury) and everyone finished feeling like all the hard work paid off - plus some! We had one night of rehearsal in the venue and I had my acts plus supervision of the trapeze girls to worry about.

On rehearsal night the aerial acts were left out as we ran out of time. I was pretty peeved and so were the trapeze girls - seven hours of waiting around for nothing! So on opening night we had an opportunity for a run through of our act - it had to be run through regardless as the technical side of the act (stage light & sound) had to be organised. It happened about an hour before the first show went on and we were super rushed through. So much so that the ground mats for a tumbling act was not set up correctly - during the show I have a moment when I have to run across them. But my foot slipped through either a crack or just off a double stacked mat (I can't remember exactly) and it twisted and I got up on it. I keeled over in pain but stood up to try to finish the act - no good, something wasn't right! My foot blew up immediately, we strapped and iced it straight away as I thought it was a blown tendon. I couldn't believe my bad luck as I only had an hour to deal with it before the shows started!

But I did all the shows, limping backstage and full weight bearing during my acts as I didn't want the audience to see I was injured. People who noticed the strapping thought I had it on there for support. After the two days of shows I presented to the hospital, was xrayed and told it was a fractured base of 5th metatarsal (long bone of the foot near the ankle). Everyone was surprised I had performed on it - so was I, it never even occured to me that it could be broken! Thankfully it was a nice clean break and hadn't displaced.

Treatment is a cast on for 6 weeks, non-weight bearing and elevated as much as possible. I'm halfway through, 3 weeks and one day to go! The hardest things for me is not being able to train and relying on everyone to give me a lift to get around. I'm getting the hang of these crutches and have been able to cut my showering/dressing time from 60 minutes to half and hour. I desperately wanted it off within a day of having it on but after 3 weeks I've been talked into realising it's best I keep it on!

4 days to go!

Show time comes around so quickly. I realised that we only have a few more days before it's time to go on. Our director is running around madly trying to follow through each of the performers with their routines. Half of our training is happening in our circus hall, the other half at our local gymnastics club where we have a sprung floor and full sized trampolines.

At this point I'm in two acts - a fire routine and our tissu routine. The band and director still want me to do an acrobalance routine with them but I still haven't rehearsed with them so it may not happen. We still have three nights of rehearsals but I'm confident that the acts I'm involved in will happen without any problems. The aerial equipment is going in the night before the show and we'll have one night to rehearse in the venue. It's so important to have the opportunity to train in a new space because it can play tricks with your head. We have to get familiar with the roof height, the forward space and the space around us. Last year I had the added difficulty of a short drop area underneath me plus big gusts of wind blowing my tissu around below. It's going to be so good to be able to perform in a closed area!

The Score

So strange to have a ‘score’ for the Tissu routine. We’ve been training for the last two weeks on a tentative routine. Today the director and I spent four hours nutting out the routine so that it went well with the music. This involved me going up on the Tissu and repeating moves and groups of moves so that the timing and the look worked. It pretty much changed the entire routine we had been working on! I was wrecked after the first hour of this process but like the director, determined to get this sorted today so that we can start training it.

Our third Tissu performer got back from France yesterday which is a relief because we’ve been concerned considering how much training she needs to catch up. But with three show training nights each week plus the regular Tissu class I teach I’m hopeful that she’ll have enough time to build up her strength and stamina. Knowing how dedicated these girls are though I’m sure they’ll commit to a fifth training night if I suggest it in the next few weeks.

I’ve also found out that the band want to do an act with me alone. I’m not sure exactly what they have in mind but apparently it’ll involve them carrying me around doing simple acrobalance moves whilst they play their instruments. I’m a bit nervous about it though because I haven’t got many free nights and I would expect to rehearse this with them before the show!

I love Melbourne!

Once again I’ve come back from Melbourne feeling like I’m missing out on so much by living in Darwin. Besides having the nation’s best circus institutes and trainers Melbourne has so many other attributes that makes it such an ideal place to live. The shopping is great, you can be free to experiment with fashion and there’s always something happening to keep you entertained. One of the things I love the most is the food and on this visit I managed to experience some of the best that I’ve ever had.

The highlights started with ‘Richmond Hill café and larder’ on Bridge Road. This picture here is my breakfast, a spinach and onion tartlet with three different kinds of fresh bread. We also went into their cheese room where we were able to sample from a wide selection maturing cheeses. On another night we went to the ‘City Wine Shop’ where there was one of the biggest wine selections on display. We ate dinner in what seemed like a cellar room and the food was delicious. Whilst I was training I had dinner most nights at a nearby thai restaurant whose chef was happy to cook whatever I wanted, how I wanted it. The difference I find is that fresh, quality ingredients are used. People seem to take pride in their food and dishes. It also helps that Melbourne has earned a reputation for great food so establishments need to keep up with it as well as compete with other restaurants.

On my last day I had lunch at a popular bakery at the end of Bay Street in Port Melbourne which was decked out as a restaurant. There were so many different sweet and savoury items to choose from, if it wasn’t for the fact I was about to do an acrobalance class I would have sampled as many of them as I could. It’s a good thing my main reason for wanting to move to Melbourne is for circus because I’m sure I’d be stacking on the kilo’s in no time if I lived there and I wasn’t training!

Annual training intensive

I've just got back from Melbourne after another week long training program at Circus Oz. It was a fantastic week, averaging about seven hours of training a day. Boy were we sore by day three - even the youngest within the group were suffering. But it was all worth it and again reinforces the need to live in Melbourne to be able to advance my skills in circus.

During the week I did sessions in acrobalance, tissu, german wheel, handstands and tumbling. I didn't escape injury free again, sore neck after a fall, bruises over my legs from the wheel and my knee is playing up after taking a hit. Our trainers were mostly Circus Oz and NICA performers and they were all extremely talented and inspirational. I learnt so many new things to take home and practise and I've been inspired to get back into hand balancing. Our group contained six out-of-towners (pictured here doing our version of a 'group photo') and we practically lived at Circus Oz over the week. I even managed to see Circus Oz's current touring show. It was absolutely fantastic, the skill level of some of the performers could have outshone the Cirque Du Soliel crew!

My Supplements

As a health professional I often get asked for my opinion on different dietary supplements. Most of the time it’s usually regarding the one’s found in 'health food' shops particularly the most marketed one’s such as protein powders. Some of these products have been proven to be useful whilst many of them have little evidence to back up the various claims.

I use four different supplements, these are all supported by the Australian Institute of Sport and have proof via research as being beneficial for athletic performance. I also trust that they are safe. It wasn’t a totally conscious decision that lead me to use these particular ones, it was more circumstantial as you’ll see in my reasoning below.

1. Multi-vitamin supplement: The key word here is ‘supplement’. There is no way a multi-vitamin can replace healthy eating – these tablets provide a fraction of the ‘recommended dietary intakes’ for micronutrients. I take one when I think my overall diet has been neglected. When I’m training more intensely I take one everyday, especially since I’m a vegetarian and I particularly want to address my iron needs. I choose Centrum simply because they contain many micronutrients and have little additions of ‘herbs’ and other products that I’m not too sure about. I can’t say if I’m any better off from taking multi-vitamins, I take them mostly for the reassurance.

2. Sports drink: I only use sports drinks when I’m doing activity over a long period of time. I’ve trialed the two most available one’s and found a personal preference for Gatorade as it’s slightly saltier and not as sweet as the other choice. I find these drinks give me a bit of extra energy and even help control hunger especially during long training nights. I tend to have 600ml plus water in the first two hours then water and a small carb snack in next two hours.

3. Caffeine: I love coffee and usually have an espresso every morning. I sometimes have a second one before training and almost always before performing. I find I am more alert and focused about an hour after a coffee which really helps when I train at the end of the day when I’m fighting fatigue anyway. Although the diuretic effect is supposed to be reduced with physical exertion I do find I need to use the loo after having a coffee especially when combined with the nerves of performing. I estimate each of my coffees have around 120mg caffeine which is a dose shown to have some beneficial effects on performance (between 1 – 3mg/kg).

4. Glucosamine: I was hesitant to use this product but after sustaining a debilitating injury during training last year I was desperate to take any reasonable measure that could get me back into action. I would like to think it assisted me when I trialed the product for a short time earlier this year. I’m on a second short ‘course’ at the moment, I’ll report on its effects later. I find I had the best result when taking 2000mg/day. I tried half this dose but did not feel it improved my symptoms.

The great outdoors

The novelty of camping wore out for me as a child; we did it so often since there were so many places to go to within an hour or so of Darwin. But every now and then I love going back to the bush for some true R&R. When I camp I do it in style; plenty of great food, entertainment and of course a good stash of quality beer – yes there is such a thing as ‘quality beer’. This weekend I had the chance to either catchup on some work and housework (boring) or take a real break and head out down the track. I had no training lined up so I was pretty much free to have a weekend off. I had an opportunity to go out camping last weekend with my colleagues over on the Islands but I knew if I went I’d be roped into doing most of the heavy work! Not my idea of a leisurely get away.

It was a great weekend, the fire started first time with each attempt, all the food turned out better than expected, the weather was very comfortable and our fellow campers were friendly and considerate. What was interesting was another event that was happening near us in the bush land. We noticed a sign on the way in, ‘Winter Solstice’. We weren’t too sure what it meant exactly but figured it would involve a large gathering of dread-locked, unwashed, hemp loving hippies. At around 4pm we heard the distant sound of hard core techno music. This went on well into the early hours and started up again after about a 2 hour break in the morning. But the strange thing was I’m sure it was the exact same track that played repeatedly over the night. Very weird! We pictured some kind of cult-like moon worshiping ritual taking place. We were really curious and toyed with the idea of ‘accidentally’ stumbling across it whilst we looked for firewood. But after a few beers, a great dinner with a cozy campfire we were too content to even think about doing anything that meant removing ourselves from our campchairs. I think I drove past one of them later the next day. Whatever rituals they had been doing it certainly didn't seem to do him any favours!

It’s like, you know, like…

How did it happen? The excessive, superfluous use of the word ‘like’? I didn’t realize until recently just how much this annoying trend has invaded the Australian vocab. The first time I really noticed how much this irritates me was when I watched an ‘interview’ with a female Hollywood celebrity who had a reputation of not quite being the sharpest tool in the shed. I don’t think a single sentence that came out of her mouth contained less than four mutterings of the word ‘like’. As she sat there, turning her head from side to side while she spoke, twirling her hair with her fingers, struggling to form comprehensible sentences I found myself not actually interested in anything she had to say. I was totally distracted by her inability to use other words from her native English to describe her thoughts and responses.

The unfortunate thing is that even I have unknowingly fallen victim and find myself slipping in the odd ‘like’ in the pause of a sentence. During my aerial circus classes I’ve put out the challenge to my students that we will not use the word ‘like’ inappropriately during training. I thought the group would laugh at me and think I was being a pompous old biddy, but they actually agreed with the whole mission and constantly remind each other of the challenge. Even the high school teacher of one of my students is on the same mission and has his students use the word ‘potatoes’ instead.

Another trend I’ve only just noticed is the ending of sentences with ‘you know what I mean’. I think I’ve managed to escape this one and when on the receiving end of that statement I find myself taking it literally. “No I don’t think I do…” I’ve found myself replying much to the shock of the offender who then is forced to realize what they’ve said and interrupt the flow of their conversation to explain themselves. I don’t mean to sound like the grammar police, I’m not perfect, but I think there’s value in maintaining some sense in our everyday language. I’m sure there’s something that, like, totally irks everyone, you know what I mean?

Another batch goes thru

What a weekend! Two days of shows for my aerial classes as part of the mid-year workshops showcase. Saturday night my young ones performed (pictured here) and last night my older ones went on. Both classes did brilliantly and I couldn’t be prouder of their efforts. But the kids went on last each night so I’ve just had to endure two days of five hour waits with constant “when are we going on?”, and “how much longer?” The older ones were happy to keep themselves amused; chatting excitedly amongst themselves, but the younger one’s required a bit more input to keep them settled while they waited. The rehearsals always make me worry but each class pulled off their acts almost seamlessly in the end when the pressure was on.

So this signals the end of teaching for me until next semester and it now becomes all about me – so nice to be able to say that. A member of my performing troupe, who is usually very cool in the weeks before our shows, reminded me tonight of how many weeks we have left before it’s showtime for us. I don’t really feel stressed about it just now as I did a run-thru of part of my act this week and surprisingly I managed to pull it off quite nicely. It was a surprise to me as I honestly haven’t done any pre-show training, it’s been more so just for maintenance of strength and fitness. End of July is when the pre-show training officially starts, it’s also when the kid’s classes start up again. I’ve already been asked to do some school holiday sessions but I think I’ll pass and use these few weeks to get myself fit and ready for Melbourne!

Liability

Tonight at training I was asked to perform at a big event which is on next weekend. My initial reaction was to turn them down as I know I am only at about 20 percent of the required physical condition to be able to perform. I tried to play down my rejection by suggesting that what I could offer in terms of my fitness was only a very short routine. I hoped this would sound unsuitable as they had thought my routine could be one of the main attractions. “Oh anything would be great, it’s just so beautiful to watch” was the unfortunate response. I tried another tactic, “I suppose I could ask a couple of my students to see if they could perform with me but I have a feeling they might not be able to”, “oh no we think a solo performance would be much better” they keenly replied. I didn’t want to sound ungrateful so I thought it was time to pull out the big guns. “Well if the venue is willing to have a loaded rig set up from their ceiling I suppose I can do it”, “hmm, actually we should look into that” they said, smiles turning into frowns of concern.

Having to cover all bases for liability is something that scares even the most interested event organizers and for circus performances aerial acts are one of the more difficult to arrange. Ensuring the safety of the rig is paramount. Some of the ‘professional’ aerial circus artists that I’ve met have told me that they usually also train a ground based skill as they come across this problem quite frequently. I do have a couple of other skills I can offer but I haven’t trained them for a while and I’m not too keen on having people watch me perform when I’m not at my best. It makes me realize how much training is required to do this for a living. It’s times like these that I am glad I have a day job!

Attack of the ‘motherly instinct’!

I’ve previously written about how much I enjoy teaching aerial circus but something happened the other night at training that made me realize this had moved to another level. As I sat back watching my students rehearse their show for an upcoming performance one of them began exiting out of her favourite move, four metres high on the tissu. But instead of controlling herself she slid down to the floor, practically falling. My reaction was to gasp aloud and bolt out of my chair, heart beating so fast I thought I was going to faint. But she looked coyly at me and giggled as she went about attempting the move again. Out of the corner of my eye I saw her mother in the audience practically let out a yawn and shift position slightly. Seeing that she was okay I slid back into my chair and reflected on my reaction. It wasn’t that I thought if she hurts herself that I’d be in trouble, it was genuine concern that she would be hurt and I wasn’t nearby to protect her. I chuckled quietly to myself realizing what I’d done and looked around to check that no one else had seen my over-the-top reaction.

Now that I think about it, this isn’t really a new thing for me. I guess I’ve always had the motherly instinct and it just comes out in the right environment. I had an early intro to ‘mothering’ as a 17 year old when I often looked after my 16 year old friend’s baby while she went out and partied with an unsavoury crowd. I cared for him so often people used to think he was my son and I loved it. When I’ve worked on Paediatric wards I found it very easy to make a connection with the children to help them feel at ease with their scary surroundings.

But my relationship with my circus students is quite reciprocal. I notice that when they are training if they’ve done something that they’re proud of they look to me first for acknowledgement before looking to their parents. Again it does come down to being a good role model; I don’t think any of my students think of me as a ‘mother’. At the same time I know it’s going to be difficult when the time comes for me to move on and ‘let them go’.

You want me to perform to FUNK?!

It’s pretty exciting to be collaborating with a few different groups this year for the show. One of them is a popular local band who’ll be providing live music for us. Our director gave me their music for my MP3 the other day and I spent a bit of time listening to their albums – yes albumS, they have produced about four and I haven’t even heard their music AND I’m a local. I did feel a little guilty about that. It didn’t take long before I realized these guys were a ‘funk’ band! Think John Butler Trio and The Cat Empire but at a constantly uplifting, fast pace. “How on earth am I supposed to do a Tissu routine to this?!” I thought, madly going from song to song hoping there was something with at least a slightly slowish tempo that I could work with. Tissu routines are typically slow paced using moody, haunting tunes. As I reached their last album I found myself compromising on the most mellow and least vocal track. I hoped that meant that the musical parts could be extended and possibly slowed down slightly to make it easier to perform to.

Of course my decision will probably change, last year I changed my mind about the music around four times before being swayed by the composer at the last minute to go back to my original choice of track. It’s good to be given a choice but sometimes I think it would be easier to just be told what to do…within reason.

The work/life balance

I'm definately a "work to live" person but sometimes my work takes over the majority of my time. This doesn't mean that I'm constantly at work or in work mode, there are many times when I eventualy get home I'm so tired I don't do much else but eat and go to sleep. Sometimes I get a little resentful when I don't have the time or energy to do the things I enjoy and I guess this could be a source of 'stress' in my life. I remember learning about stress-coping strategies when I studied psychology and I find I use at least three of the different measures that are known. The strategy I think I use the most is turning to social supports whether it is to 'debrief' or to allow some form of disengagement. Having something else in your life whether it's family, trusted friends, sport or a personal project for example, gives us a venue to deal with what we consider to be the 'stressors' of our lives.

So after a hectic week of work, as I sit here writing this on a leisurely Saturday morning, having coffee and chocolate covered almonds for breakfast, with my favourite dvd playing in the background I find the work/life balance starting to tip back where I prefer it. To make things better, it's the start of a long weekend so I'm free to indulge in any number of activities I enjoy: training, fishing, cooking, shopping or just more dvd watching. First up though, another hour of lazing around on the couch and maybe a second coffee!

My Tutor

One of the greatest challenges with my tissu training is having to progress in my own skills without having a tutor around. Being the only tissu performer that I know of in my city (or at least the only one training) I have no one to discuss moves, wraps or drops with. This becomes dangerous when I have moments of doubt up there 8 metres high. It would be great to have someone to yell out to "does this wrap look right?" before I let go and start the tumble to the ground. I've managed to avoid any accidents so far as I always bail out if ever there is doubt. This is where my "tutor" comes in. It's my Sony Handycam. Everytime I go to Melbourne to train I get someone to film the moves and wraps so I have something to review when I get back home. No matter how many times I do the trick with a tutor down there, with time and lack of training I eventually forget exactly what I've learnt. With tissu the wraps have to be exact otherwise you can find yourself completely "uwrapping" and ending awkwardly or on the floor! There was a drop I learnt in January this year that I thought was very simple, however I failed to film the exit of it when I trained it with a tutor. When I attempted this drop a few months later back home the tissu ended up wrapped around my neck and I was suspended two metres above the ground. I definately had the strength to save the move however it ended up resulting in a deep friction burn underneath my arm. The scar is a great visual for my students to remind them the importance of controlling yourself on tissu.

The deception ends

I love teaching my aerial circus kids, their classes are one of the highlights of my week. I train them quite hard though and push them through a pretty gruelling 1 hour of strength and conditioning each night before skills training. I always do the conditioning with them though so I know when I've reached the point that I think is enough for them. Tonight as one of my youngest students (who's 11) collapsed exhausted on the mat, I commented "come on, I'm three times as old as you!". At that moment the whole class stopped and I think there were simultaneous gasps of shock. "YOU'RE 33?!" they asked. "Well not yet but I'm not far off" I sheepishly replied. And that was that - the deception was over! Prior to this the class all thought I was a groovey 19 or 20. I always joked that they'll never find out my age, I guess I didn't want them to think I was too old to be their cool circus teacher. But their response was reassuring, "WOW!" they said with what I thought were looks of awe. I guess it's true, age doesn't really matter. When I was their age I probably thought that once you hit your thirties you probably wouldn't be capable of doing something as physically challenging as aerial circus. But the truth is I feel stronger and fitter now than I ever did in my 'younger days', and I feel like I can only get better. Sure there will be a time when my joints are shot and my recovery time is longer but I've seen my 'older' circus tutors still teaching and training into their 50's and 60's.

It's great to be a source of inspiration for these kids, the majority of them are at that age where they look for a life role model and that person could either be a good or bad influence. I'm lucky that they all love circus because I think I am where they strive to be. At the same time these kids are such a pleasure to be around, their enthusiasm and constant effort is such a reward for the time I give for them.

Improvising

Aerial arts are so hard to train when you don't have the energy! We were joking at training tonight that this change in weather has put us all off. The dry season has kicked in tonight and our bodies are unaccostomed to the lack of sweat. I found myself almost complaining that my hands and feet were too dry. Damien, our director, tested my tissu for flame-retardedness. I thought he was kidding when he sidled over with a cigarette lighter asking me if he could "light it up". And darnnit, it DID catch on fire! This means the sound/lighting people will have to set a truss underneath the lights on the stage.

It's going to be a fun show. We are going to do our acro-balance/group pyramids as a grand finalle and the plan is that we'll incorporate the musicians into our pyramids, it's going to be hilarious working that out!

So tonight I tested out the possibility of decending a rope without pain. A dance company here have asked me to teach their male dancers how to ascend and descend (upside down) a rope. I put this brace (pictured here) on my foot to help with the pain but alas, it didn't help! Professional Rope and Cloudswing performers use 'leathers' to deal with the friction burns. I broke the news to one of the dancers tonight and said I hoped he had a high pain tolerance. After watching the poor guy start to break out in a sweat I felt bad and talked to their director about changing it to tissu instead of rope - much kinder on the skin! He was much obliging so there's hope for the guys yet!